With the holiday season fast approaching, and I, nervously, anticipate cooking my first thanksgiving meal for my in-laws, I am challenged by something...
There has been an increase in shootings these past few nights, feels like every night I hear one or two, and sometimes more shootings near by. For the most part I am "used to" it, as if this is something one gets used to, but more recently I struggle with the Lord. This particular night was noisy with two people arguing in the middle of the street, under our window, using choice words and no regard for those who are trying to sleep at 1am. The struggle is of exposing our little baby in February to all of this commotion. My heart would break if he one day said, "Don't worry Mom, sounds like a (insert gun type) over in the next street!" Of course there is so much any parent can do to protect, but we feel we have no choice.
God called. Andrew and I are not released, and only have the choice to surrender him to God. The "what ifs" drive me crazy at night, and it is in these moments that I have to mentally focus on what this holiday season is about...giving thanks and peace. I may not see peace on streets, but I'm begging for peace in my heart. I may not see the streets pouring with thanksgiving, but in the depths of my heart for me to offer it to a generous God.
The words of "All I have" are difficult to sing at times, and others the most beautiful.
What have I in this life
But the love in your eyes
This empty world will one day fade
Only Your truth will remain
Jesus all I have is you
You're the hope I'm holding to
I might weep but my faith rests in you
As the heavens hold the skies
It's your hand that holds my life
Your love will lead me on
When all else is gone
The funny thing is, Andrew and I were in the middle of a silly fight when this happened. What a way for life to be put into perspective in a matter of a few seconds. The fight was over obviously. That's one thing we can be thankful for. =)
2 comments:
Many nights we clung onto this verse as Glenn, Baby Noah, and myself slept on the floor beneath our window praising the Lord we had brick as the exterior of our one bedroom home:
"Have mercy on me O Lord, may your love and truth always protect me." Psalm 40:11. Love the part where it says always. He's got you, Andrew and your sweet baby. Still live in the ghetto another boy just died from a stabbing down our street. I remind myself our Lord is unfinished with the work He has for us to do still.
Karen, Andrew,
Amen
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